Written by matthatt
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Topics: Local, Toilet Paper

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Local mans finger goes through toilet paper.

A local man is said to be in a stable condition today after having been pulled from the jaws of almost uncertain death, but very certain need for antibacterial hand wash, following a toilet roll purchase, mix up, type confusion.

The young man in question, who is known to be local, was going through his usual daily routine of two wipes and a polish when all of a sudden, on the second wipe, all manner of flimsy bog roll related hell broke loose which ended with the tip of his finger potentially millimetres away from his tea towel holder.

'It was touch and go there for a moment' said the local fellow 'I was using a slightly different brand of bum fodder than what I'm used to and overestimated its tensile strength. Fortunately, I managed to pull back from the brink before anything worse than warm bum air got through the torn hole'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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