Written by Noddy Bigears
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Monday, 18 July 2005

image for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Open Hogwarts Wizard Gadget Store in WMD
The half-blood Prince gives back life to Voldemort as the world bleeds profusely

Top US executive, Voldemort Bush and his side kick, the half-blood Prince Dumbledore Blair-Blaster have opened an up market store in WMD for evil scheming politicians of the underworld who are seeking to overturn the non-magical world of the Muggles or normal ordinary people. The flagship store, Hogwarts will offer the discerning western politician intent on using the terrible elements of the dark arts unlimited choice in weapons of WMDss (World Madness Domination sickness syndrome).


Draco Malfoy, marketing executive specialising in deaths, fear and mistrust announced today at the press release, "Normally, politicians have struggled to convince or muggle normal people into believing their evil despicable malicious lies and deception." He added with a satanic grin "Now, at last they will have unlimited access to evil curses, mind bending potions and spells as well Blaster broom sticks that can be deployed against any peace loving nation in the world without any risk of injury or death to themselves."


Voldemort Bush had been nearly fatally damaged by an evil spell that backfired as he mispronounced a critical top secret ‘Iraqistani' phrase causing him to be just a moronic empty shadow in the darkness of the underworld until he was made powerful again at the G8 Gleneagles satanic verses recital conference. Prince Dumbledore Blair-Blaster donated half his poisoned blood to Voldemort whilst other world leading satanic followers chanted curses incessantly for 5 days as the evil ritual was brought to a demonic conclusion. The sickening process included the sacrifice of many innocent Muggle chickens and other animals both in the conference land and in nations around the globe whilst leaving the half-blood Prince Dumbledore Blair-Blaster with a white and pasty expression as well as zombie eyes and reactions.


Harry Potter an insider from Hogwarts may well have been trying to avert the outside world but not everybody thought that Harry was telling the truth in the last few stories, in addition as a small boy prone to disappearing from the real world for long periods, his credibility has been failing for a long time even as he strove to escape from virtual reality to avert at the last minute of any potential tragedy. His escape from the G8 Gleneagles satanic verses recital conference stranglehold was blocked by over 12,000 underworld zombies dressed in black surrounding the conference hotel whilst the skies were controlled by vast mechanical flying birds spiting fire and sulphurous acidic gases. Desperate Potter supporting anarchists tried again and again to rush the Hotel in a vain attempt to release Harry and the truth of the half-blood Prince but unfortunately, armed with only sticks and stones they were repeated subjected to viciously evil truncheon curses and Blaster blows to their bodies. Overwhelmed, most were arrested only to finish in the terrible tortures cells of Uzbekistan where their souls are excruciatingly extracted by the Putinaski guards, the most feared vile grotesque creatures of the satanic western underworld.


Prince Dumbledore Blair-Blaster had been specially infected over a number of years with evil mind bending bacteria during visits to the different lands of the AUSA (Areas of Ultra Satanic Arenas) as a contingency plan in case Voldemort's unbelievably evil insidious ‘Iraqistani' curse backfired -as indeed it did, thus using his decomposing body as a storage vessel for the blood poisoning fermentation. As a prize for his unquestioning dedicated support to Voldemort's distorted perverted intentions, Prince Dumbledore Blair-Blaster has been awarded the European Presidency of the Ministry of Magic where he is expected to try further to convert the Muggles world of perception of normality whilst further perpetrating his true cause of lies, deception and the elimination of all those that defy him and the Voldemort curse of evil.


Tragically, only Harry Potter can undo the despicably evil blood transfusion curse between half-blood Prince Dumbledore Blair-Blaster and Voldemort Bush -yet after the finish of the G8 Gleneagles satanic verses recital conference, the greatest bastion ever of truth and reality is nowhere to be seen or found. Hopefully, he is still in hiding somewhere safe with his broomstick until the next chapters of doom start to roll off the printing presses ready to sweep up this evil before it all goes horribly wrong again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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