Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 15 November 2010

image for Katie Waissel Survives Again! It's The Collider Effect, Claims Boffin
A scientist yesterdat.

X Factor wannabe Katie Waissel's continued survival in the show can be explained by science claims a top boffin.

Katie survived on the show this week at the expense of Aidan Grimshaw amid claims that the show is rigged.

But top US physicist Dr Abner Clambake says the reason is far more sinister.

"Ms Waissel's performanaces would have seen her voted off the show in any normal universe. So we have to assume that there has been some kind of shift in the space-time continuum.

"And there can be only one cause of this - the work going at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at Cerne.

"Clearly last week when they created conditions close to what happened right after the Big Bang, they caused a rip in the fabric of time and space and left us phasing with another, alternative universe... the kind of universe in which being a terrible performer wins you success in TV talent shows.

"The kind of universe in which a bunch of deadlegs try to perform Elton John songs and make complete hashes of them.

"Some scientists have been worried that messing with the LHC could jeopardise our very existence. Well, clearly, what has happened is far worse."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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