Written by Bureau
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Topics: Lindsay Lohan, Rehab

Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan Wants To Open Her Own (Beep) Rehab Chain!
Lohan's 'High On Life!" Looneybins Coming This January

Lindsay Lohan is doing a lot better in rehab and wants to open her own according to her mother, Dina Lohan.

"She's like a different girl..woman", stated Dina. "No she wants to open rehabs for other coke (beep)...I mean..others who have had problems like she had."

Had? Isn't this her third round in the past year? Of course, this time it's at the Betty Ford Clinic.

Dina Lohan made her statement on the "Today" show and told the people there that she had high hopes for Lilo.

"Maybe I should have stated that different. Not 'high hopes' but hope that she will stay high....(BEEP!). ..high on life and helping others at her own clinic."

Of course she made the old familiar statement that they were only taking it one day at a time. How else are you going to take it? The days only come one at a time.

"She described her trip..(BEEP!)....to the Betty Ford Clinic as 'Life Changing' and she wants to help other Crack (Beeps) so I have high hopes. Sheeeiiitt. I'm going now."

(Inside) "Hi Mom, how the (Beep!) are you you old (Beep)!"

Well, this is Lindsay's third trip. (Now I'm doing it). Third time's a charm. (Cliche's too.) Harold Floyd for the West Coast Post!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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