The X factor has been officially classified as moron fodder by the Pope and forbidden viewing to all RC's. In truth, the producer refused to have him on the show, saying the pontiff was not popular enough to bring in a decent audience so it's just a dose of sour grapes. The old kraut git threatened the producer with excommunication, but was really pissed off when he found out the producer was a new age Pagan priest who never ate fish on Fridays.
The producer's of another similar type show have been refused building insurance when Ann Widdecombe is performing on stage unless the stage is specially strengthened to take the extra weight. The insurer's said it was only fair because the safety of the other performer's was paramount.
Still in the entertainment world the BBC has decided to axe Eastenders in favour of a late night porn show where amateur's are allowed to do their thing live in front of the cameras. Points will be awarded for the most inventive performance's and the points can be exchanged for M&S vouchers.
Head of programming at the BBC said it would be much cheaper than employing a bunch of ugly old deadbeat's and the saving would go towards the director's bonus, a truly worthy cause.
Miss Widdecome will certainly be invited to perform with a partner of her choice. Wow.