LOS ANGELES, CA, USA - Well *cough* un- *cough* renknowned pop *loser* sensation was admitted to a secret medical clinic in Central L.A.
*For detailed directions type in 298 Hawthorn Boulevard into Google Maps, and it'll give you directions. Its disguised as a Barber's shop. Just so you know.*
*I'm hosting a break-down-and-murder-the-scum party near there. Nothing supsicious.*
Anyway, he was admitted on accounts of a broken foot. *Sadly* not broken is his throat, *un-* fortunatley. Hey, I wonder how he broke his foot? Oh yes, it was an accident on the intersection of Vine Street and Hollywood Boulevard. *Kudos to that guy.* Apparently, the Piggies, sorry Police, report that the collision 'appeared deliberate'. *Huh, I didn't know they knew such long words. I'm sure its used a lot with 'beating', 'brutal', 'shooting', 'tasering', and 'pigs' in court. If they ever do.*
Fans shouldn't broken-hearted. Doctors say he's stable. *He'll be as stable as fricking uranium, once I'm done*. In fact, I'll mend your hearts by taking them outta your chest.
What do you mean, I need to be objective when reporting? I can't all the stuff in asterisks? They're in asterisks!
Screw you, I'm reporting this, whether you care or not, Mr. Journalist Friend.