Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars: The Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Carrie Ann Inaba On-The-Air Feud Got Quite Ugly
This is a photo of Maksim Chmerkovskiy's pet snake "Samba."

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Dancing With The Stars Bernadette Penderlicki and Curtis Verflippet tried to put the lid on the in-house feud between professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy and DWTW judge Carrie Ann Inaba but it was all to no avail.

The hot-tempered Maks, who is not known as "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" for nothing and the fiery feisty Filipino female Carrie Ann suddenly turned into a pair of male and female pit bulls on live television and they were certainly not interested in breeding either.

Inaba started off the out-of-control proceedings when she criticized celebrity dancer Brandy for taking four beats to begin her dance number. Maks, who was born in the Ukraine, immediately told Carrie Ann that it did not matter at all and that she was just being a picky little bitch.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Dancing With The Stars censor Lars Acushnet definitely earned his salary for this weeks show as he ended up having to beep Maks and Carrie Ann a total of 14 times during their heated exchange.]

Inaba replied that she was talking to Brandy and Maks remarked that he was the one who had choreographed the damn dance number and to leave Brandy alone and put the effen blame on him.

Chmerkovskiy, which is pronounced exactly as it is written, then told Carrie Ann that she needs to go back to the Philippines and find herself a friggin man who can take her to bed and show her exactly what her hooha is for.

Inaba said that Maks is an immature bad-tempered, ill-mannered, and conceited as hell Russian vodka drinker. She then said "And speaking of vodka, isn't that precisely the reason why your ex-girlfriend and fellow professional dancer Karina Smirnoff broke off her engagement to you buster boy."

Maks shot back by saying that he would rather kiss 97-year-old Cloris Leachman any day than to kiss her (Inaba). He pointed out that at least Leachman's two knockers match.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: MEMO TO MAKS: They do???]

Brandy started crying and told Maks that because he had gotten into it with Carrie Ann that she was now going to pay for it because Inaba was not going to give her a good score.

Maks told Brandy that Inaba can take her 'scoring paddle' and stick it up Bruno's (blank).

Bruno Tonioli, aka The Gaytalian, quickly stood up and told Maks that if he did not stop acting like Bill O'Reilly that he was going to go up to him and kick him in his 'misters' with his size 8 Deluxe Elton John Party Shoe.

Host Tom Bergeron finally managed to jump in and told everyone to stop carrying on like the Hatfields and McCoys because they were going to run into Castle, which is the show that follows Dancing With The Stars.

SIDENOTE: The director of DWTS Mason Kippflavor confided to a reporter for the Hollywood Herald Gazette that both Maksim and Carrie Ann have been warned about their outburst and any further exhibition could end up in a hefty fine for each one and possible deportation back to the Ukraine for Maksim and the Philippines for Carrie Ann.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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