Written by anthonyrosania
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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

image for Leaked Jessica Alba Nude Photos Reveal She's Secretly A Big Fat Cow.
ABOVE: One of Jessica Alba's more disappointing nude photos.

Just days after British trollop Emma Watson (the weird-haired chick in the Harry Potter movies) posted boner-murdering photos of herself topless, ashamed-to-be-Latina actress Jessica Alba has released topless cell-phone photos herself, which reveal that she is a big, fat moose.

In the series of six photos, which she claims were downloaded from her iPhone by hackers, shows Alba raising her wife-beater tanktop to reveal disappointingly small, amorphous breasts and a huge, gelatinous belly, which some say equals what is hiding beneath the pup-tents Oprah Winfrey wears on TV.

"She's pregnant, you f--king retard," said Ms. Alba's agent, as if I am supposed to be aware of every E-list actress' current uterine state. "Who do you write for, you moron?"

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