Written by ExiledRoyal
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Tuesday, 9 November 2010

image for X-Factor's Wagner shock
Wagner without his makeup

It's the answer everyone's been wondering about: How come Wagner has managed to get this far? Well, it turns out that the Brazilian tone-deaf lothario is actually ... Simon Cowell's DAD!

Wagner has been exposed as Eric Philip Cowell, an estate agent developer and music industry executive, expertly transformed into the disgusting and talentless performer who has inexplicably been voted through despite demonstrating no talent whatsoever.

It was Cowell's dad who got him his first job as an A&R man, and was a "behind the scenes" influence on Cowell's rise and rise to prominence.

Simon Cowell has privately admitted to the fact that he wanted to give his dad something back, and has organised systematic vote-rigging to ensure the South-American growler remains in the show.

Cowell refutes the accusations, saying that "Wagner" has achieved this on his own merit, and hopes that he can sell him for whatever he can get.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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