Hot on the heels of red top revelations that the X-Factor is a fix, and following Sunday night's Katie Waissel on stage "Oh sod it!" meltdown, Skoob Entertainment News can exclusively reveal that Simon Cowbell has sold Katie Waissel on Dickinson's Real Deal for £17
We were told that Cowbell - sick and tired of X-Factor corruption allegations - lost his rag and flogged Katie off for £17
It's being bandied about that Cowbell finally ran out of patience following Sunday's dramatic on screen meltdown, which Katie survived, despite Treyc having three times as many votes, and flogged Katie off to Dickinson's Real Deal antique dealer Mike Melody for the aforementioned £17
Mike Melody refused to offer Cowbell any more than £17, claiming that Katie was 'tarnished' and that he was making a fair offer because he couldn't expect to realise much more than about £21 at auction for the spectacularly unloved diva.
"I took a gamble on the bint, but it didn't work out. Sometimes shit happens. I thought I was on a winner, but on this occasion my judgement failed me. So I decided to cut my losses and sell her on Dickinson's Real Deal. I came out quite a few quid down on the deal, but had I held on to her it would have cost me an awful lot more in the long run."
Mike Melody was slightly more circumspect:
"I paid £17 for the girl, and I was taking a risk. If I shell out to get her hair done, and her vocal cords shaved, I might make a fiver. Failing that. I could always get her to do the washing up. If you ask me, I've been ripped off yet again by that Simon Cowbell. I should really have known better. He stitched me up like a kipper with that Joe McElderry."
David Dickinson declined to comment on the grounds that he was busy having a really big shit.
More as we get it.