Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for Katie Waissel And Cher Lloyd To Have X-Factor Wagner's Face Tattooed On Their Arses
Some Of Our Source's Kids - Laughing At Us.

Sources close to the X-Factor (some bloke who lives a few houses down from the contestant's house) have told SEN that divas Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel are planning to have likenesses of X-Factor favourite Wagner Carillho in his Elvis jumpsuit, complete with mysterious Bolivian medal, tattooed on the cheeks of their respective arses.

"It's all about respect innit mate," the source told us. "Wagner's turning into a living legend. Okay, he can't sing or dance for shit, but what he done is he caught the imagination innit. I mean, if a fat bastard like him can give it the big large on stage wiv scantily clad, long legged dancing girls, then wot's stoppin' the rest of us mate? Innit?

"If you arx me, dem chicks avin' his mug tattooed on their arses is just showin' respec' an dat. Innit. It no more dan 'im Brazil nut deserves innit. Mate."

X-Factor insiders later told us that they'd never heard of Cher or Katie planning to have Wagner tattooed on their respective arses, and asked SEN where on earth we heard of such a ridiculous notion?

When we told them, they seemed to be acquainted with our source.

"It's that Nigerian bloke who's always poncing up and down the street in a Pele tee shirt isn't it?" one asked.

When SEN responded with an affirmative, the X-Factor insider told us:

"And you listened to him? Are you insane or something? The bloke's a total knob head."

Which is as may be, but remember - you read it here first.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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