Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for Bollox choreography as Felicity Kendall does the Paso Doble
The paso Doble is a tricky bastard to master if you have to left feet

Blackpool - (Blast Tango In Paris): The 64-year old OAP's Saturday night rendition of the Spanish bullfighter's march was crap.

Terrible timing, jerky movements and a gaunt facial expression suggesting something nasty gestating down her larynx saw the botoxed actress's performance bomb.

Dance partner Vincent Simone struggled to stay co-ordinated with the stiff sexagenarian comedy actress whose inclusion in the BBC show is a total mystery.

"Maybe she's the real Panto Option instead of Ann Widdecombe," ex-Good Life producer Dusty Barraclough commented today.

"Sure, she's not as gross - bodily or otherwise - but whaddahell.

"Time to boot off the silly mare along with her daftass aspirations."

Bruce Forsyth is 109.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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