Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 6 November 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Reveals That Her Amazing Smile Is Courtesy Of Boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough
Rumpus Delecti Illustrated has given Cheryl Cole's tush a 'Five Star Rating.'

LONDON - Cheryl Cole, one of the judges on the British reality show X-Factor was asked why she has been all smiles as of late.

Chezza, as the English affectionately call her, shyly blushed and noted that her quick trip to Los Angeles to visit with her boyfriend, Derek Hough, of the reality dance show Dancing With The Stars absolutely did wonders for her headaches, stomachaches, and groinaches.

Cole grinned and said that within 13 seconds of being in Derek's arms she had forgotten all about her various aches and pains and how that dreaded ex-husband of hers, Ashley Cole had broken her heart on several occasions with several cheap, run-of-the-mill skanks, sluts, and strumpets.

Cheryl says that he can hardly wait to start working on Simon Cowell's new American version of X-Factor, which will premier in 2011, and pay her a very handsome salary plus a $1,000 a week lingerie allowance from Victoria's Secret.

Chezza pointed out that she is really looking forward to moving into "Delicious" Derek's Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha.

Meanwhile Derek Hough was asked what it is about Cheryl Cole that first attracted him to her. He blushed, winked, and said that he cannot lie and stated that it was her two, beautifully shaped tata's.

Hough said that he has seen dozens of pairs of puppies but that Cheryl's stood out (pun intended). He winked again and said that Cheryl's knockers are much prettier than those of Britney Spears, Audrina Patridge, Ke$ha, and even Brooklyn Decker.

SIDENOTE: Derek's sister, Julianne Hough, who is dating American Idol's Ryan Seacrest, stated that her brother plans on changing the name of his mansion to Casa Cha Cha Chezza.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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