Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: TV, missing, DIY

Friday, 5 November 2010

image for Shocking: Search Party Sent Out For Nick Knowles
Some DIY SOS screws, yesterday.

A search party was despatched late last night for the TV celebrity Nick Knowles.

The DIY SOS star has not been seen on television for over two days, prompting fans and TV execs alike, to assume something must be wrong.

Ever present with his rough hewn chiseled features, and manly robustness, the aging star is a hit with the ladies. Becoming popular in the hit show, where Nick and his team would descend on an unsuspecting family and put up shelves for the lazy occupants, Knowles went on to appear in every single episode of every other show, on all the channels, ever made.

He even began appearing in the adverts between the shows. His new found popularity garnered him an awards ceremony presenting gig, unbelievable for a man who has trouble formulating a full sentence without dribbling.

But he has seemingly disappeared from our screens over the weekend.

Long time fan Jayne Boon, 49, told us of her shock, "I flicked on the TV, and a biography of Bob Hope was on. I watched all the way to the end and then it hit me, no Nick Knowles! My gaster was utterly flabbered!"

"I immediately rang Barbera, my friend, who had been watching Ready Steady Cook, well she said the same, no Nick Knowles to be seen anywhere, not even an introductory voiceover!" she continued.

The shockwaves throughout the TV industry are palpable, while friends and relatives await the findings of the search.

Robbie Titchmouse, leader of the Nick Knowles Official Fan Club told us, "we are all awaiting news with baited breath, and we hope it all turns out as a false alarm. But at least we have some small consolation, in that he's back on TV, even if it is only the news!"

Danny Baker, who himself was on absolutely everything during the 90's said "well maybe this is my time to make a comeback!"

Updates as we get them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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