Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Star Wars, Rap, Yoda

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Yoda to Release New Rap Album
Pete Leeds, aka Yoda, grabbing a bried snooze between recording sessions

Long thought to be the product of a science fiction writer's imagination, the real life Yoda, a scant man from Leeds, U.K. with pointy ears, bad teeth and a permanent case of yellowish-green Jaundice, will be releasing a new hard core Rap album this month.

News of the real-life inspiration for the Yoda character in the Star Wars series was revealed to the press only last week where the identity of the man known as "Pete Leeds" was uncovered for the first time. His identity protected by the University where he was born, Leeds was a product of an errant gene splicing experiment, where sadly, DNA components for both Dwarfism and Iguana were accidentally mixed.

"But as often happens, creatures do thrive during the struggle to survive, as did our little Petey", says lead geneticist and professor at Leeds University, Dr. Hyrum Testicones. Released as an adult at 18, the young man formerly reared in the halls of Leeds University, took his assigned name and became a street rapper, passing the hat for his daily bread. "It was tough in the beginning", says Leeds, "But my look tended to attract attention and some sympathy money too. Whatever, you toss it, I'll take it".

Leeds worked the urban nightclub circuit for years around London, but only recently hooked up with national producer, MC Dirty Knees who immediately recognized Leeds's talent. "He's a bit funny lookin' and he can snag flies out of mid air, but the dude rocks a MIC like no other meter high, green dude can", says Knees.

Leeds takes his good fortune along with the bad and looks forward to the upcoming release of his new CD. "You would think those social incompetents at the University could have gotten a little more original with my name at least. I mean who names a kid after a Petri dish and a Town. But I'm my own little green man now", says Leeds. Indeed, his song titles are original as well, including hard core rap cuts like:

"Come on take a ride on my light saber"
"I'll move rocks and planes to be witchu"
"I'm gonna put the Force in you tonight"
"Once you go green, you never go back"
"Grab that Krystal and pop my green cork, baby"

No word if Leeds plans to seek a percentage of the Star Wars franchise, but he appears to be at peace with his chosen career. "And the chicks are FINE", says Leeds. "I'm good with being the novelty act, as long as the paycheck is fat and the girls keep coming back. Call me Yoda all you want, baby."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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