Written by Spicewood
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Topics: charlie sheen

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Sheen Surprises Today
I know what I am to do

"I'm going into the priesthood" was a statement issued by Charles (as he said he now likes to be called) Sheen on the Today Show. The shocked cast had no response for the over-paid actor.

"I have given it much thought, I have meditated, went into seclusion yesterday for over an hour, and this is my decision. Well actually, I was having Mimosa for breakfast yesterday, and apparently consumed too much, tripped on a champagne bottle, and fell on my knees by my bed. That is when it happened, I knew I was put on this earth to be a priest," he went on to say.

He appeared at the studio green room wearing a black suit, white shirt, black tie and highly polished black shoes, and what really shocked the hardened staff was his polite attitude. As he entered the room he said, "Do you folks mind if I stay in here for a brief time, until they call me for my segment?" The staff looked at each other in shocked disbelief.

His last appearance on the show, they recalled, was preceded with, "Hey as---les where the hell do you want me to park my sweet ass till they want this star to make an appearance on their damn show. Is that Meredith woman still on the show, wouldn't mind checking out her drawers, if you know what I mean."

He indicated too, that he had a premonition of an attitude change while watching Notre Dame lose a football game to Tulsa. He said he knew that something was wrong there, and perhaps something was wrong in his life.

His tentative plans are to enter a theology school, become a priest, and be known as Father Charles Sheen. He also attributed some of his transition to a family member who had a great influence on his early life, Bishop Fulton Sheen.

After his appearance, he left the shocked cast and crew with a few parting words, "Bless you all, and may you all have a good day."

Matt Lauer was speechless and could not finish the show. Meredith Vieira finished the show by telling humorous stories that occurred on her "Millionaire" show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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