Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Music, The Saturdays

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Saturdays Mystery: Who Has "Issues?"

You wouldn't think it to look at them, but when gorgeous girl group The Saturdays appear in public, it has taken one of them an enormous amount of brave Work to get there.

One of the Missing You girls has to have a dedicated team of psychiatrists and behavioural therapists to help her get over her fears before facing the world.

An insider said: "One of the girls has a phobia for the word 'Saturday' - so you can imagine how hard it must be for her.

"When they're in public - like at a gig, or a personal appearance, on TV - the word 'Saturdays' is everywhere.

"She has to be led to dressing rooms under a blanket so she doesn't see the word. But in some cases she has to wear a security tag - and when you try to put that round her neck she can go insane.

"If we have 'The Saturdays' as a backdrop at a gig, the dance routines mustn't involve her turning away from the audience.

"Elton John's Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting is a favourite of the other girls, but it can't be played anywhere near her.

"When we were putting the band together, I remember she was trying to persuade us to use any name but The Saturdays. She tried The Thursdays, or The Every Other Fridays, but it wasn't clear what her problem was.

"Actually, come to think of it, when she suggested The Thursdays, one of the other girls ran out of the room and threw up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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