Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Topics: New York, Reality TV

Saturday, 2 July 2005

New York (AP)--Following the ongoing success of NBC's "I Want to Be a Hilton" reality TV show produced by Endemol USA, the company is about to launch a spin off show called "I Want to Impregnate a Hilton" for aspiring upper class studs.

The show will be hosted by the Hilton family gals Paris, Nicky and mom Kathy, who will interview rich and important guys, screening them for preferred genetic traits. The winners will become sperm donors who will impregnate the Hilton family eggs.

The object of this new show is to create a new race of genetically enhanced and superior Hiltons, who will eventually take over the Hilton Empire and rule the planet Earth. Male contestants will be screened for superior intellect, top physical appearance, and an ability to inherit massive amounts of money. Their superior genes will counter the inbred decadence which has been steadily eroding the Hilton clan for generations.

"I can't wait to donate my eggs to be impregnated by the winners of this show," gushed Paris in an interview with Spoof. "It's so romantic!"

She revealed that the conception process will be medically supervised at the best fertility clinics, and the embryos will then be implanted in the contestants of "I Want to Be a Hilton" who will become well-paid surrogate mothers at clinics in Brazil.

Another reality show still in the planning stage by Endemol is targeted at geneticists and medical doctors, who will be contestants on "I Want to Clone a Hilton."

An NBC executive indicated that the show's contestants will be the world's best mammalian cloning researchers, who will compete for contracts to grow clones of the Hilton family members. The object is to use the Hilton clones to create a stock of body parts for transplant purposes, in case a Hilton gets sick and needs the replacement of an organ or a limb.

"The Hilton clones will be kept at a special, unnamed island resort in the Caribbean which is presently under construction by Hilton Hotels," said the TV executive. "They'll be well looked after and they'll be educated from birth to understand that their purpose in life is to be organ donors for the Hilton family."

He added that the island clones will be looked after by a private security service used by Hilton Hotels, which will ensure they don't leave the island until they are needed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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