Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 2 November 2010

image for Robert Pattinson As Satan? Paradise Lost Casting Rumours Rife
Would an A-lister want to play him?

Speculation is rife in Hollywood over who will land the plum role of Satan in the planned movie of Milton's epic poem, Paradise Lost.

Director Alex Proyas, who has scored hits with Dark City and I, Robot, has signed up with Legendary Pictures to "helm" the movie which insiders say will be an "actioner."

Milton's 12-book epic tells the story of the fall of archangel Satan and his cohorts after their rebellion in heaven.

Deciding it is "better to reign in hell than serve in heaven" Satan is determined to pervert creation and the poem ends with the fall of man - banishment from Paradise.

But who is to play Satan? After all, he's the hero, but he's the embodiment of evil. And that's an uncomfortable paradox for conservative-minded American producers.

Hollywood insider, Danny X Sibelius, explains the issue: "The usual Hollywood answer to the conundrum has been to cast a British actor in the role of the bad guy when it's a major part - preferably one who is known to part of the US audience for 'classical' roles.

"Satan has a terrific speech rallying his troops right up front - that's going to take some powerful acting.

"But this bad guy is the hero - certainly if the movie stays faithful to the poem. US audiences would normally expect to see someone like Brad or Matt in role like this. And both these guys have terrific cv's in the action department.

"But Brad as Satan would be confusing - he was Achilles, wasn't he? And is Bourne too recent for Matt? I suspect so.

"No, the Matts and Damons will probably be looking to play characters like the archangel Michael - you know, the guys who win the battle in heaven. There's also going to be that great scene, kicking Adam and Eve out of Eden with a fiery sword… any star's got to relish that one!"

What about the women? Is this an entirely guy thing?

"Milton says a lot of these fallen angels can appear in either gender, but there are definitely feminine characters, like Astarte - Hollywood gals are going to just want to be her and who's to say that one's not for Angelina or Scarlett?

Danny feels that the producers may well look to the younger generation of A-listers to play Satan and his second-in-command, Beelzebub, in what could be a dangerous gamble.

"Robert Pattinson is right in there at the moment. He has to be on the list. A move from vampirism to Satan would not be a huge one - plus he's already well-known and he's a Brit.

"But would he want to be known as the embodiment of evil? He might think it could blight his career.

"I hear Justin Bieber wants an in into the movies. I think he will have to miss this one."

Put on the spot and asked to play casting director, Danny offered…

God: "Don't even go there…"
Satan: Daniel Craig
Belezebub: Robert Downey, Jnr
Michael: Jake Gyllenhall
Astarte: Scarlett Johansson
Adam: Daniel Radcliffe
Eve: Carey Mulligan

"And there's going to be other angel-generals on both sides… Shia LaBeouf, Dominic Cooper, Sam Worthington. Guys like that will be in the producers' minds.

"Of course, the entire thing could be a huge, great, stinking pile of crap. I hope Milton's not holding his breath - we shouldn't!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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