HOLLYWOOD - Network executives with the number one rated comedy show in America, Two and A Half Men, have stated that they are fed up with the high school, out-of-control antics of its star Charlie Sheen.
One of the executives stated that many feel that the network may have enabled Sheen by rewarding his with his brand new $1.25 million per show contract.
They state that all that they may have really done is just to have provided Sheen with a means to engulf himself in the three "B's," bourbon, beer, and bitches.
An inside source remarked that Sheen is like a little kid in a candy store and he thinks nothing of spending $6,000 on a bottle of wine, $7,000 on a hooker, $4,000 on those silly looking hats that he wears, and no telling how many thousands of dollars on his Peruvian Marching Powder, which even Eskimos living in the remotest parts of Alaska are aware of.
Sheen's co-star Jon Cryer says that he is really upset at the way that Sheen has been acting and not really caring about the welfare of his fellow cast mates who are trying to make the enormous payments on their enormous houses.
Cryer, who makes $600,000 per show, reportedly told his fan club president, Lily Sue Diddybicker, 19, that if Sheen causes the network to cancel the show that he will personally see to it that someone kidnaps Sheen and flies him down to the South Pole.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Reliable sources have noted that the shows executives are in communication with Mel Gibson about having him step in and replace Sheen if Sheen does in fact end up getting his dysfunctional ass fired. When reminded that Gibson has a reputation of being a somewhat loose cannon himself, the executives replied that even though Mel "From Hell" Gibson has been known to rant and rave like the crazed Australian that he is, he will at least show up on the set when he is supposed to and he will have his lines memorized unlike Sheen who had to have his lines written on the backs of sofas, chairs, and some of his fellow castmates.]