Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

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Liverpool, England-- A 29-year old talking parrot could be the reincarnation of John Lennon. The green and yellow Amazon parrot was hatched from an egg just a few days after Lennon was slain in 1980. The talkative bird was raised listening to music by the Beatles. His owner is a spinster named Miss Eleanor Rigby.

The parrot was born inside Miss Rigby's pet shop on Penny Lane in Liverpool, and named John. Miss Rigby says John began speaking and singing right after he hatched.

"He's a very friendly bird, likes to eat lots of different things." said Miss Rigby. "I feed him rice that I pick up in churches. He also likes eating beetles too."

John has attracted a lot of attention, and has had many famous visitors through the years. His fame has been kept secret, until today.

"Yoko comes every few months to visit. She has offered to buy the parrot many times, but I always refuse." said Miss Rigby.

"Can't buy me love, can't buy me love!" squawked the parrot in the background.

"Sir Paul visited a few times. I had to ask him to stop coming, because he always argued with the bird." she said.

"He's a real nowhere man, he's a real nowhere man!" squawked John.

Miss Rigby is very old now, and the spinster says her life has been very lonely, except for John's companionship.

"All you need is love, all you need is love!" chattered John.

After Miss Rigby dies, she plans to leave John to Yoko.

"I'll probably die in the Church, and be buried along with my name. I want John to have a good home." she said sadly.

Yoko says she is looking forward to welcoming John back to New York City.

"I know the parrot is John." said Yoko. "It fits in with his strange sense of humour. It's something he would do."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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