Written by Willow
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Sunday, 24 October 2010

There has been a lot of rumours on the internet recently about Pattinson and Stewart planning a voodoo wedding or commitment ceremony.

However according to a drunken Tom Sturridge, found slumped in a corner of a Louisiana bar recently, the rumours are fact and the ceremony had already taken place.

Sturridge , who admitted that he was gutted that Kristen had gone through with the rite with his old flat mate. He was heard to have said that he'd pleaded with her not to go through with it, and to go away with him instead.

Sturridge said that the whole rite thing was a bit weird. "I could handle it until the chicken was brought out ", he said grimacing. " I think I threw up or passed out at that point. When I came round, there were feathers everywhere and Kristen and Robert were looking a bit sheepish."

"I must have missed, something ", he added puzzled.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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