Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 23 October 2010

image for Whatever Happened To Kirsty Alley? - Asks Local Man
Shuttlecock Refused To Accept That This Is A Current Pic Of Heather Locklear.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was left bewitched, buggered and bewildered in the early hours of Saturday morning, as he was relaxing with a few glasses of amber Belgian lemonade as a rainstorm raged outside the Shuttlecock residence.

Shuttlecock was watching the big plasma screen TV he'd bought just before last Christmas (pre 3D) when he saw an advertisement for an upcoming TV series featuring somebody called Kirsty Alley.

Recalling the name from somewhere within his ravaged memory, Shuttlecock started to wonder if it was the same Kirsty Alley who appeared with such cultural and trouser bolstering significance in the classic American TV sitcom 'Cheers.'

Groping for his spectacles and shooing away the family pet cat, Scrappy, who was soaking wet from the rainstorm but still lusted after a spot of raw mouse, Shuttlecock squinted at the TV set.

When he saw a rather portly middle aged lady running about, shouting and being a bit loud, Shuttlecock became convinced that his initial assumption must have been a case of mistaken identity.

"I remembered the name Kirsty Alley, from the TV show Cheers," Shuttlecock explained. "I remember when she first appeared opposite Ted Danson after Diane had left with a broken heart. I remember her being drop dead gorgeous, like stunningly attractive. When I looked at the TV and they announced that Kirsty Alley was starring in a new reality TV show, I just thought, Jeeze, that can't be the same Kirsty Alley. But then I really looked, and underneath it all, it was. You can say what you like about Kirsty Alley, but there's no disputing that she's three times the woman she used to be. I'm not really sure if that's a good or a bad thing."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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