Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 October 2010

image for Shakira Guest Stars On 'Dancing With The Stars' And Receives Three Honorary "10's"
Shakira has the fastest and most sensuously erotic hips in the entertainment business. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

HOLLYWOOD - The infamous belly dancing singer Shakira, whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour, performed her latest hit "Loca" on Dancing With The Stars.

The Colombian bombshell, whose real name is Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll, definitely showed why she has the most sensuously erotic hips in the entertainment business.

Shakira can make her hips slither to and fro like a fast moving water moccasin snake. She smiles and says that once when she was performing in a nightclub in Saginaw, Michigan a tipsy patron got a little too close to her and he ended up getting hit with her left hip, which sent him flying into one of the waiters.

DWTS host Tom Bergeron remarked that he knows that Shakira is not married, but added that her boyfriend has got to be the luckiest son-of-a-gun in the entire world.

Judge Bruno Tonioli added that in regards to the act of lovemaking, Shaky's boyfriend merely needs to simply show up and the Colombian firecracker will do the rest.

Judge Carrie Ann Inaba, noted that she is not a lesbianite, but pointed out that she would love to spend ten intimate minutes with La Shakira.

English judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman said that the South American lass would simply cause him more stress than he could possibly take. He giggled and then said that if he spent even two minutes with her, he would probably end up with broken ribs, bruised thighs, battered buttocks, and a wounded welly.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Welly is British for pecker.]

Shakira has stated that her hips are insured with Lloyds of Los Angeles for $10 million.

After her dance number the three judges awarded her three honorary "10's."

She was asked by co-host Brooke Burke if she had ever had any embarrassing moments. Shakira blushed and replied that two years ago when she was performing at The Orange Seed Auditorium in Pensacola, Florida she was gyrating her hips so fast that she had not noticed that her short shorts and panties had both slipped down to her ankles.

SIDENOTE: Shakira has denied the rumors that her and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo are dating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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