Written by Nick Hobbs
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Wednesday, 20 October 2010

image for 'I'm Part Flamingo' Says Jethro Tull.
flamingo on one leg

Jethro Tull, inventor of the seed drill and flautist with the seminal 70's folk rock band of the same name, has sensationally revealed that he is part flamingo.

Tull, real name Ian Anderson, has become an iconic image over the years, with his trademark one-legged pose. He has appeared on many magazine covers and newspaper articles, and even his own album covers and tour posters, standing on one leg, with his flute in the air.

"Well you see, many people ask me where the pose came from, and I just told them it was something I did, somewhat 'off the cuff', so to speak" he told us from his country pile, "but in actuallity, it is a natural pose for me to take."

"You see, I was raised principally by my mother, and my father was infact part flamingo, from a relationship further back through my families history," he continued "I have had intensive tests from doctors far and wide, and they have confirmed I'm at least, almost, 43% flamingo."

In certain light, when the stage is set, Anderson does appear to glow slighty pink around the edges. And his favourite food, on his backstage rider, is brine shrimp. This only goes to fuel his claims of flamingo-hood.

Although he can't fly, Anderson maintains he only likes travelling at night, as do his birdlike counterparts, and he's also very popular in America, where many people like to put plastic lawn ornaments of the flamingo in their gardens.

With unquestionable proof, such as this is, it is hard to disbelieve the aging flute tooter, as to his heritage.

"I am often to be found wading, after all, that's why I bought the trout farm a few years back. Endless days wading and eating. When I wasn't touring, of course!" he crooned.

He was a little more unclear as to the invention of the seed drill.

"That wasn't me," he told us, "I'm not Jethro Tull, that's the band name! I'm just plain old Ian. We named the band after JT, he invented the seed drill, not us!"

O.K Jethro, whatever. Your secret is safe with us...

But it was with educated hearts, that we left Mr Tull's estate.

Songwriter, lyricist, multi-instrumentalist musician, farmer, agricultural inventor, naturalist and now, part-bird. What a talented, and welcoming fellow he is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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