Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 17 October 2010

image for X-Factor - Mary Byrne Knocks The Socks Off 'Em
Some Screeching X-Factor Wannabe But Never Will Be. Like Storm.

Former Tesco checkout girl from Dublin, Mary Byrne, struck a decisive blow for the older end on last night's X-Factor as she blew the judges, the studio audience, and TV viewers by the million away.

Emerging on stage, looking slightly apprehensive, Mary soon had the world eating out of her hand as she belted out the old Dusty Springfield classic, 'You Don't Have To Say You Love Me.'

Indeed, there was a tear or two in her eye as she accepted the plaudits. All this talk about Cher Lloyd, Katie Waissel and Aiden Grimshaw, not to mention Storm who made an absolute bollocks of Springsteen's rock anthem 'Born To Run,' amounted to chump change when weighed off against Mary's powerhouse performance.

Katie Waissel may be being groomed for the trappings of stardom by the allegedly corrupt as fuck X-Factor publicity steamroller, but millions of witnesses last night know that Mary - who quite frankly doesn't stand a cat in hell's chance of winning the contest - towered head and shoulders above the young pretenders.

As SEN supremo Buffty Ginslinger observed:

"Mary was fucking breathtaking. That was a performance Dame Shirley Bassey would have been proud of."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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