Written by El Capitaz
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Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for Supreme Court issues injunction against David Caruso and producers of "CSI Miami"
Everyone's a critic...

In an unusual move, the Supreme Court today issued an injunction against the producers of CSI Miami and it's star actor, David Caruso,  prohibiting Mr. Caruso from "further expressions of extreme over-acting and gross overly melodramatic theatrical representations." The court was split 5:4

Writing for the majority, Justice Clarence Thomas argued that "While the first amendment does guarantee freedom of speech, and while, as a professional actor, Mr. Caruso enjoys broad protection regarding his portrayal of fictional characters for television entertainment purposes, there are limits to what can be tolerated. This is over the top. We haven't seen acting this cheesy since the William Shatner days, from the original Star Trek. If allowed to continue unfettered, Mr. Caruso might jeopardize the freedom of speech for a wide range of entertainers." 

In a scathing minority dissenting opinion, Justice Sonia Sotomayor denounced the ruling. "Just because this television show is set in Miami, and features  a vibrant Cuban/Latino community, that's no reason to attack it! Of course, any wise Latina can see that Caruso is a horrible actor. But his character, Horatio, is sympathetic to women and minorities, and therefore his freedom of speech must be protected. La Razza will be looking into an appeal to this ridiculous injunction."

Long time court observers lament the divisiveness and willingness to take on superficial social issues evident in the ruling. Said one "George Washington probably wouldn't be a fan, but you know Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson would love CSI Miami, what with all those gratuitous shots of bikini clad women on the beach or poolside."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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