Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for Christina Aguilera's Husband Files For Divorce On Grounds of 'Irreconcilable Quasi Lesbianism'
Jordan Bratman, Christina Aguilera's husband says he will definitely miss certain parts of his wife the most.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Singer, songwriter, dancer, actress, and some time housewife Christina Aguilera has just learned that her husband of nearly five years Jordan Bratman has filed for divorce.

Aguilera, 29, according to a very close friend was reportedly shocked as she thought that everything was hunky dory, or as they say in Naples, Italy fine as wine.

But Christina has certainly found out otherwise. According to her husband's attorney Figaro Figastanello, Bratman has filed for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable quasi lesbianism.

Bratman is contending that during their marriage his wife has kissed literally hundreds of women and that some of these women include well known celebrities such as Madonna, Britney Spears, Ellen DeGeneres, Gwen Stefani, Angelina Jolie, and Melissa Etheridge (at least six times).

Jordan has reportedly told his personal masseuse that it is really no wonder as Aguilera, after all was born in Staten Island, New York, and that is really not to far from Fire Island, which is considered to be the East Coast Mecca for gays and lesbianites.

Ex-fellow Mouseketeer Justin Timberlake recalls that when he and Christina were performing on the Disney show, he and some of the other boys were always trying to kiss Christina, but she would reject them and end up kissing the little girls instead.

Timberlake said that he realized that she had not changed when he heard that her follow up song to her hit "Genie In A Bottle" was "Fairy In A Frozen Daiquiri Glass."

SIDENOTE: An unnamed inside source has noted that Christina has tried to make contact with Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock about becoming one of Sandy's 'kissing conquests.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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