Skoob Entertainment News can exclusively reveal that much reviled X-Factor wannabe Katie Waissel will survive this weekend's X-Factor, because word from a little bird has it that the whole show is fixed.
SEN supremo Buffty Ginslinger has been busily beavering away among his extensive network of contacts, and has uncovered some alarming revelations.
Such as Simon Cowell buying off a recording contract in the United States in order to accommodate Katie Waissel on the X-Factor.
In a smoke and mirrors tactic that the late Richard Milhouse Nixon would have been proud of, Katie teetered on the brink of being bumped off the show last weekend.
But there is no way that will be repeated this weekend.
Katie, from being the favourite to be aXed, has had her odds drastically slashed by bookmakers, who invariably have inside information.
The new favourites for the chop are Storm - who will be giving us his rendition of Springsteen's rock anthem 'Born To Run' and Wagner - because he has a fucking stupid ponytail and should know better at his age.
Insiders inform us that Katie Waissel is absolutely bloody furious at suggestions that she is being 'engineered' from zero to hero by unseen forces, and that she is still very much alive and kicking, drop dead gorgeous, and determined to be even bigger than Madonna.
Buffty Ginslinger just tapped his nose and tipped our reporter a wink.
Expect to see Katie on your screens next weekend. Put money on it if you wish.
More as we get it.
Update: And the beat goes on. Meltdown or not.