Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Kate Moss

Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for Kate Moss & Jamie - Are They Or Aren't They?
Who cares?

It's the question on several people's lips today: are supermodel Kate Moss and rock star boyf Jamie Hince hitched?

According to reports yesterday they tied the know at a secret ceremony in Sicily in August.

But there have since been serious efforts to deny any wedding has taken place.

We dispatched our gossip expert Janice Crucible to get to the bottom of it.

"So, like, I went round to Kate's but she wasn't in. A neighbour said 'I think she's away love.' She didn't know if Kate was married.

"Next up, I thought I'd ask Kate's ex Peter Doherty if he knew anything. So I went round his gaffe - but he wasn't there. 'I think he's down the pub, love,' said a neightbour. She'd never heard of Jamie Hince or his band The Kills.

"Down the pub, they said I'd just missed Peter, who'd left with a bunch of mates. They didn't know where he'd gone.

"I called up Kate's agency, but they refused to talk to me, saying I'd annoyed them when I wrote about one of their models shagging a Big Brother contestant.

"So I told the editor I should go to Sicily to sniff around there for a couple of weeks. He said something about 'sticking Sicily where the sun don't shine.'

"Are Kate and Jamie hitched? Who gives a toss?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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