Written by anthonyrosania
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Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for The Stork Wears Assless Chaps: Neil Patrick Harris and Alicia Keys Have Babies.

The stork has arrived at the homes of two celebrities today, and it was wearing assless chaps, as babies are delivered to Neil Patrick Harris and Alicia Keys.

Is Alicia Keys Gay?

Of course not. In fact, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Portia De Rossi, Queen Latifah and Jodie Foster have all said that she is hetero. As is 50 Cent. And Anderson Cooper.

Alicia Keys and husband/beard (allegedly) Swizz Beatz (real name Swizz Feldsberg) welcomed a son, Egypt Dauode Dean, late Thursday night. The singer gave birth in New York at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital.

This is the pair's first child, though Eygpt is "welcomed by Beatz's three other children from his heterosexual first wife," the statement said.

Meanwhile, expect baby blue to join the hot pink trimmings in Neil Patrick Harris and longtime partner David Burtka's home, Doogieland, where Harris gave birth to twins via a nurse-midwife.

"Penis!! I mean... Babies!!" Harris, 37, wrote. The twins are named Gideon Scott and Harper Grace. "All of us are happy, healthy, tired, and a little pukey."

"And I am a bit sore."

Harris tweeted in August that he and Burtka, his 35-year-old man of six years, would have children: "So, get this: David and I are expecting twins this fall. We're super excited/nervous/thrilled. Hoping the press can respect our privacy..." he tweeted as if anyone actually gave a sh-t.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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