Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 15 October 2010

image for Porn Starlet In Anal Bleaching Mishap
An Artist's Impression Of The Guilty Party - Kryst Olmity.

Budding porno starlet, Venus Mound, was left today counting the cost of an unfortunate mix-up at a Hollywood anal bleaching salon.

Apparently, anal bleaching is a 'must have' procedure in the adult movie industry, to prevent the anal ringpiece resembling a chocolate starfish, and thus go easier on the eye of the viewer during anal penetration scenes - essential these days, according to observers.

From information received, it seems that Venus Mound, a pretty and petite 42-26-34 blonde Virginian with a lazy eye and a long tongue, checked into the salon for bleaching ahead of her upcoming appearance in the production of 'The Girl With The Dragon Twattoo.'

Anal Bleaching Operative, Kryst Olmity explained how he mistakenly used a caustic soda solution from a big jar, when he should have used diluted Domestos.

"She nearly went through the fucking roof when I slapped the caustic soda on with the paintbrush," he groaned.

After being rushed to hospital in an ambulance with flashing lights and a really loud siren, Venus was helped by ER technicians who managed to ease the burning acidic ringpiece by continual hosing of icy cold milk through a jet washer.

Venus Mound is expected to make a full recovery, but is expected to experience severe discomfort for a week or so. She told us:

"My ass is burning like crazy. I feel like I'm constantly shitting razor blades. I'm gonna sue the ass off that Kryst Olmity. The careless bastard."

Filming on 'The Girl With The Dragon Twattoo" has been suspended.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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