For the one millionth time since the world inexplicably began to give half a sh-t about her exploits, convicted coke-head and all-around meathole Paris Hilton unleashed her sweater meat on a Malibu beach yesterday.
Yeah, I don't know. I started with an interesting premise, but it went nowhere. Try this one, it's kinda funny. Sorry.
"She actually had stripper music playing on a boom box she brought with her," said a woman drawn to the attention-whore's titty-expo by a small plane flying overhead, carrying a 'Pay Attention To Me!' banner behind it. " 'Watch me, watch me' she said, over and over.'"
Hilton, who last made news when a British tabloid published pictures of Hilton and fellow chock-full-of-the-Herps* skankmuffin Lindsay Lohan making out at a Hollywood party, claims that the flash-session was for an upcoming photo shoot.
"These pictures will be available online by tommorow," said Hilton. "Just go to lookatmelookatme.web."