Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for Kirstie Alley's Best Friend Says Kirstie Better Check Into A Fat Farm Before She Looks Like 603 Pound Gabourey Sidibe
Kirstie Alley says that she will eat any food as long as it has ingredients.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - For the past year or so, former actress Kirstie Alley has tipped the scales at 409 pounds.

Well now it seems that one of her long time friends Larleen Brokengate has said that Kirstie has not lost any weight at all which is in contrast to what Ms. Alley has told reporters for the National Enquirer, Rolling Stone Magazine, and Big Mama Illustrated Monthly.

Alley has stated that she has lost 52 pounds, but as Milton Berle used to say, hon, you didn't lose it, look behind you.

Ms. Brokengate stated that there is no way that Kirstie is going to lose any weight at all as long as she keeps eating a bowl of Lucky Charms with seven bananas for breakfast, two large size pepperoni pizzas for lunch, and eight Big Mac's for dinner.

Brokengate noted that she has literally begged her best friend to please check into a fat farm before she starts to look like Gabourey Sidibe, who weighs 603.

Ms. Alley was asked for a comment but could not speak as she was in the middle of knocking off a roasted four pound Canadian Mallard Duck.

SIDENOTE: Kirstie has denied the rumors that she has been asked by the Pasadena Rose Bowl Parade Committee to be one of the coming new year's day parade floats.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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