Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Kate Gosselin Getting Vajazzled to Jazz Up Kate Plus Eight

Not one to let a few cancellation rumors get her down, Kate Gosselin has decided that in order to keep herself and her kids on top of the reality show game, she is going to have to pull out all the stops. She has just announced that in an upcoming episode, she will hop a red-eye to L.A. and visit the same upscale salon where Jennifer Love Hewitt got her love patch bejeweled and introduce a butterfly or two to her own victory garden.

"I love gardening," said Gosselin. "It is rewarding and it kills time while the kids are in school. But watching me garden, as in pulling weeds and planting flowers, that doesn't pull in ratings. I'm gonna have to up my game."

Gosselin is said to actually be looking forward to getting her vajayjay vajazzled. "Look, it will be just another thing I can use to lure a man, any man at this point, into my empty bed. Can you imagine my viewers? I mean, here they're gonna see me doing mundane things like taking the kids to the bus stop, collecting my dry cleaning, grocery shopping, but underneath it all, I'm gonna be every man's fantasy. Now if that doesn't bring in the ratings, I don't know what will."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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