Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 11 October 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars: The Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino Says The Reason He Wasn't Doing Too Good Was Because His Shoes Were Too Tight
Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino finally admitted that his dancing shoes were much too tight.

HOLLYWOOD - After performing on two episodes of Dancing With The Stars, one of the stars of The Jersey Shore, Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino has finally confided that the reason he has not been doing too good is because his dancing shoes are much too tight.

"Sitch" as his friends and some members of the New Jersey State Police call him stated that even though he felt uncomfortable he did not want to use the fact that his shoes were too tight as an excuse.

He finally told his dance partner Karina Smirnoff [Pronounced: Ka-REE-Na VOD-Ka] when she heard him yelling and screaming in the bathroom.

She walked in and saw him on the floor holding his toes, which were as red as Topeka tomatoes. She instantly realized that his shoes, which were size 10, where much too small. Sorrentino was fitted with size 11 shoes and he said that they felt a whole lot better.

He even said that now he could go up to the British judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman and kick his ass all the way from L.A. to London.

It is no secret that Goodman does not like Michael's free-spirit attitude and he has not hesitated to embarrass him.

Sorrentino says that he likes Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli, even though he feels that he is not really Italian as he claims to be. Sitch still believes that Bruno is really Portuguese and is disguising his accent.

He added that at first he thought that the female judge Carrie Ann Inaba might be Puerto Rican, but that now he thinks that she is either Filipino or Bolivian.

Michael has said that his biggest supporter is fellow Jersey Shore cast mate Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, who stands 4 foot 9 inches tall, and weighs 80 pounds.

He noted that he was there for her a few weeks ago when she was arrested on the beach at Seaside Heights, New Jersey for throwing pizza slices at unsuspecting seagulls. "Snooki" was fined $500 which Sorrentino paid.

SIDENOTE: Karina Smirnoff pointed out that Sorrentino has pretty much been a gentleman. She blushed and added that he has only touched her butt six times during rehearsals; twice accidentally and four times on purpose.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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