Written by Whitters
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Monday, 11 October 2010

image for Simon Cowell Woken Up By UKBA
Syco advises that this man will win X-Factor 2012. We are not aware that said show is yet commissioned.

A Press Release from prominant Government department the UK Borders Agency has revealed that far from X-Factor hopeful Gamu being deported from the UK, she is currently on leave to appeal over who she really is.

The tactfully worded release by the UKBA on a red and Black piece of card in the shape of an X states that they have questioned and released Zimbabwean Gamu after claims have been made that an unknown person or persons "may have medically altered a Mr S Cowell to appear to be a black female aged in the late teens; and likewise a Miss G Nhengu may have been medically altered to look like an aging music guru."

Concerns appear to have been raised after a number of comments made by Mr S Cowell were made on live television over the weekend on a commercial production owned by the TV production company Syco and the company raised the alarm that the comments made were not usually made by the senile old man.

Theorists at The Spoof have spent the breakfast coffee break debating the issue and have concluded that for Simon Cowell to have let Katie continue in commercial venture X-Factor, he must have been either mad, or 17 years old.

The UKBA have refused to comment.

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