Written by Bureau
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 9 October 2010

image for Porked Out Victoria's Secret Models In Need Of Jobs, Husbands!
Needs A Good Home!!

It's a shame that this has happened and it is typical of the day and age we live in, but Victoria's Secret has given pink slips, plus they have fired almost 100 beautiful young ladies who have gone over the 115-pound weight limit.

"At an average of five-foot eleven, you can see why we had to do something", stated designer Bruce Lasagna. "People would be staring at their butts and boobs instead of our clothing."

Lasagna, who weighs nearly 350 pounds and admits that his breasts are also stared at on occasion, will be posting the ladies that have been let go on a blog sometimes in November.

"These ladies make excellent mail-order brides. I mean, they ARE women, so there is bound to be some interest out there for a lonely guy who is, say, just getting his start up in Alaska."

Among others, Lasagna mentioned that states like Kentucky, Louisiana, Tennessee and Arkansas have men with needs and a state that needs new blood.

"We've already done some calling around and the first question we get is "She got any teeth?"

Finally Lasagna and several others say they will support the pink slipped ladies for the rest of 2010 until they can match them up with someone.

"We've posted their pictures in our skimpiest outfits and honestly pointed out the places where they have gained the weight."

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

3 4 21 7

Go to top