Written by Whitters
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Saturday, 9 October 2010

image for Cowell to premiere Star Trek Tech
How tonights XFactor audience might look.

Take two looks at tonight's live audience on ITV1's first X-Factor Live Finals and you might see a flicker of hope in their eyes.

Its not surprising though as Simon Cowell unleashes a new type of audience on the finalists tonight, made up full of holograms. His recent company start-up Craptech Corp. has finally managed a cash settlement with the makes of TV's Star Trek series to hire their holo-emiters found on the Starship Enterprise.

The emiters, located around the arena will each produce around 30 members of the audience, who can then applaude or put down the finalists at the voice command of any member of the judging panel. TV production crews will also be able to simulate placades being held up in support of Cheryl Cole over her recent dropping of singer Gamu Nhengu due to her being a failed immigrant.

X Factor junior producer, Scottish rap artist BoiledSu said "We think dat da local Scots will come and riot, so we removed the audience so that we can control the show. Aye we think that the Jock audience would throw der battied whiskey botties at Simon and Cheryl.

"We is prepared for da big beef ova Gamu."

Simon Cowell refused to comment when we knelt and prayed to the faux-God of entertainment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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