Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Thursday, 7 October 2010

image for X-Factor's Katie Waissel's Dark Secret Past Revealed
The Mad Hair of Katie Waissel

The dark tragedy of Katie Waissel's past is about to be revealed and its a real shocker. Friends are so worried about what the revelations will do to Katie, that they have even offered journalists money to withhold their information. But here, at Spoof, we don't accept bribes, so here is the scariest story you're going to here this year.

It happened last Halloween when Katie was sharing a flat with a hair dresser called Fantastic Mr Tony. They ran out of Milk and he offered to go get some more from the corner shop. But before he went out the door he warned Katie Not to use the Hair dryer because it went mad on Halloween night. Katie laughed at him and told him that she didn't believe him. She carried on with her evenings plans regardless of his warning.

She washed her beautiful brown hair ready to go to a Halloween Party and then she admired it in the mirror, not knowing it was for the very last time. Katie had loved her brown hair. It was always straight and she never ever needed to use hair straightners but it did need to be dried, and the only hair dryer in the flat was fantastic Mr Tony's Haunted Halloween Hair dryer.

She laughed as she picked it up and turned it on. But she didn't laugh for long. She watched in horror in the mirror as the hair drier began to emit sizzling waves of electricity. It made contact with Katie's beautiful brown chestnut hair and turned it white and scary and frizzy and mad. It then turned Katie mad.

Before she had her encounter with the hair dryer, she was a professional song writing musician, but when Tony came back home from the shops, she was a very changed girl indeed.

"All she could say," Said Fantastic Mr Tony was, "I want to be on X-factor. I want to be on X-factor"

But he told her "No. This isn't you, Katie. Its the mad haunted hair dryer. This is what it does to people. Its turned you into the wannabe from Hell"

The new Katie, complete with the new mad hair do she has today, then turned on him and said "No, Tony. I'm not a wannabe. I'm a gonnabe. I'm a gonnabe the winner of the X-factor" He froze with horror. It was a sight he'll never forget for the rest of his life.

Tony has revealed this fact now, because he believes that Katie doesn't have to be like this forever. He believes he has created a pair of hair straightners that can reverse the damage. But they can only be used on the same night the tragedy occured, just one year before. Halloween.

"If Katie uses the magic hair straightners on Halloween night, all the damage can be reversed. She will be my best friend, Katie, again and the mad fame machine that she has become today will vanish back into the darkness from whence it came"

Other friends are hopeful that this tactic might work. It could bring Katie back, but they're worried about the consequences. They don't know how the old Katie will cope when she sees what she has become. They have planned lots of counselling sessions for her return from the dark side, but they fear that the shock could kill her, especially if she wins.

Poor Katie, we wish her well.

By Katarina Frogpond

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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