Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 6 October 2010

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Fans of TV detective series Midsomer Murders were up in arms last night after they had to wait for more than 80 minutes into the two-hour show for their first body.

Viewers accustomed to murder, mayhem and bodies all over the place in the otherwise quiet county of Midsomer were denied a murder until after the fourth commercial break.

As usual, Det Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby and his team - including his wife - managed to get to the bottom of the case. The copper even survived an attempt on his life.

But although the show involved a convoluted plot concerning incest, a piano competition for especially talented youths and, eventually, two successful and three attempted murders, fans felt they had been short-changed.

"We usually have at least one stiff before the opening credits," said Karen Proust, of the TV Detectives Viewers Association. "To wait nearly an hour and half is ridiculous.

"I mean there was loads of classical music and stuff, and some weird women - and what looked like a ghost. But no stiffs.

"Really - what is going on?"

A review of last night's Midsomer Murders is available in the Spoof magazine section.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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