In an inconceivable merger of the two things in the universe that are as diametrically opposed to one another as matter and anti-matter, children's entertainer Pee-wee Herman has been announced as the special guest star for the November 1 edition of WWE Raw.
The WWE's website announced the following:
"Pee-Wee Herman is taking time off from performing on Broadway in The Pee-wee Herman Show to come out to the Nassau Coliseum where he's sure to make some new friends and create some chaos with WWE."
Pee Wee Herman, causing chaos? Really?
Herman (real name Paul Reubens) was a huge TV star in the 1940s, turning his rated-R parody of children's programs into an Emmy Award-winning Saturday morning children's program.
Then, he took off his pants and jacked-it in a XXX theater in 1991, and the universe turned against him.
Now, with the coffers running low, apparently, the 67-year-old Reubens is slathering the make-up onto his well-weathered face, and trying to recatch lightning in a bottle...
... by showing up as a nerdy adult, dressed as a nerdy child, at a venue filled with steroid-abusing musclemen beating the sh-t out of one another for two hours.
On September 16, 2009, Linda McMahon, then-CEO of WWE, announced that she would buy the U.S. Senator from Connecticut's seat, by spending $50 million of her own money, earned via the deaths of over one-hundred wrestlers, to self-finance her campaign, allegedly. See Linda McMahon Uses Dead Wrestlers' Royalty Fees To Finance Campaign.
"I'd rather he got a job at Burger King," said Reubens' agent, who flatly refused to give his name. "I expect he will be beaten and anally penetrated before the first commercial break."
"What could be more bizarre," asked WWE CEO Vince McMahon, "Than having Pee Wee host Raw?"
"It is as improbable as my wife running for Senate."