Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 1 October 2010

image for Nigella Lawson's New Series To Boost Bra Sales

Bra sales at big girls' underwear stores like Bravissimo are set to rocket as top totty TV cook Nigella Lawson began a new TV series last night.

Ms Lawson's new series, Nigella Kitchen, launched a 13-week run with an episode featuring such delights as chocolate peanut butter cheesecake and a salami pasta dish (without onions or garlic!)

From the start, the producer homed in on Ms Lawson's voluptuous figure, which was no better displayed than we she demonstrated the cheesecake in a black silk dressing gown.

Spokesman for the Larger Ladies' Lingerie Manufacturers' Association, Lettuce Myopia, said: "We always welcome a new series by Nigella. She's always so well fettered that other ladies out there want to know her secret.

"Once they understand there are pretty and delicate foundation garments for the larger bosom, they can't get enough.

"One of our members reported a 200 per cent increase in sales during Nigella's last series."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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