Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 29 September 2010

image for The Race Is On To Pop Cher Lloyd's Innocent Cherry
It's All About Power - Apparently.

Skoob Entertainment News today received an alarming communique from a mole who claimed to have access to what he described as a modern day 'Hellfire Club.'

Our informant revealed that 'SpitRoastCherryPoppers' is allegedly a secret society of sexually rampant males, usually footballers, musicians, TV personalities, reality show rejects and politicians who regularly compare notes and images of themselves with their conquests.

The higher profile the female conquest is, the greater the kudos, and in a disturbing recent development, the SpitRoastCherryPoppers have announced a monthly competition with a selected target, with a cash prize going to the victor from a community pot.

Our informant informs us that the target for October will be X-Factor contestant, Cher Lloyd from Malvern.

"They've heard she's an innocent," our mole explained. "She's only sweet sixteen, and she has an unmistakable air of vulnerability. She's what they'd refer to as 'Ideal cock fodder' and she'll need to tread carefully throughout October as the vultures are closing in. And no mistake."

A source claimed that the last she heard, Cher Lloyd was blissfully unaware of a concerted and relentless attempt by unspecified individuals to take her maidenhead.

Skoob Entertainment News supremo Buffty Ginslinger admitted that he's never heard of the SpitRoastCherryPoppers, but wasn't prepared to go as far as denying their existence. He told us:

"It doesn't surprise me, and to some degree I can understand it. It makes more sense targeting Cher Lloyd than it would targeting Chloe Mafia, That really wouldn't constitute much of a challenge at all. Believe me, I know - I've been to Wakefield."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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