LOS ANGELES - Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan is a free woman once again, again, again.
The substance abusing, alcohol downing, lawbreaking ditsy twat really needs to go out and purchase a lottery ticket, because with her luck, the freckled ass ho will no doubt win millions of dollars.
LiLo Lohan has gotten so good at getting out of anything illegal that she gets into that she could probably get a charge of hijacking Air Force One reduced to merely driving with a burnt out tail light.
It is simply amazing how lucky she and the other 'do nothing' blonde broad Paris Hilton actually are. The two could literally teach a college course in how to make a mockery out of any law in the United States and get away scot free.
The nation's prisons are filled to the rafters with women who have broken the same exact laws that the "Ditsy Duo" have and those women are not going to get out until sometime in 2013 or later.
Fasheena Mimosa Moxywood, 31, an ex-con from Detroit shook her head and asked, "Can sumun prease tell dis here ghetto sista how in da world duzz dem two blonde, honky, cracker bitches keeps on breakin' da laws of America and gettin their lily white asses away wiff it all huh?"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Fasheena Mimosa sweety. I is, I mean I am what one could call a white honky cracker and I swear that I have no mother effen idea in hell how those two 'split tails' do it. The two 'Teflon Twats' are without a doubt absolutely America's foremost 'Dynamic Duo' bar none. Batman and Robin ain't got shit on these two muffin molls.]