LA- Lindsay Lohan says she enjoys the process of going to court and prison so much that she is purposely screwing up her life.
"I find it so mentally stimulating to go through court hearings and then when I'm changing into prison garb, the body cavity search is absolutely a turn on," says Lohan, "Of course being hosed down during a riot is pretty exciting too. I also like sneaking in hacksaw blades in my pussy. I mean my toy pussy silly, they allow me one toy in minimum security."
"Of course the only thing that tops going into prison, is getting out of prison, so the appeals process is right up their with breaking parole," Lohan continued, "Plus the darling bracelets they give you are a scream to get removed, it really drives the cops crazy trying to find you."
In the latest news from court, in light of Lohan's abuse of prisons and courts, the prosecuters are now pushing for a complete aquittal of Lohan followed by deportation proceedings. "We are looking to send her to England or France. Let her try her luck with the French police or Scotland Yard. Her lawyers won't have all the judges lined up there either."