Written by matthatt
Print this
Topics: David Beckham

Thursday, 23 September 2010

image for David Beckham denies dalliance with Irma La douche bag
Look at the hips on that.

David Beckham is suing a magazine over allegations that he had paid a flibbertigibbet to fornicate with him in the Big Apple. Representatives of the football star have released a statement that said simply, "Shut your dirty mouth and go back to your home on whore island"

The "lady" in question, who makes a reasonable living as a tuppeny upright, claims that she watched as he applied Brasso to his golden balls, she also added that no one can bend it quite like David, "he certainly put it in the back of my net" said the shameless floozy, who was attempting to use a football related aphorism to illustrate that he had sex with her and that she was satisfied with his overall performance.

When the self styled, high class woman of negotiable affection was informed of the similarities between her, being a prostitute and the character played by Shirley McLain, also a prostitute called Irma, in the 1963 film Irma La Douce, she replied. "I wasn't even born then you sick bastard, where do you get off suggesting that I have been doing this since the sixties?"

Make matthatt's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 4?

2 14 11 8
42 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more