Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Russell Brand Admits That He's Not Up To Speed On Vajazzling
A Box - Wiv Jewels In It - Best We Could Come Up With At Short Notice.

Just in. Is it? Oh, so it is. Sorry. - Long haired comedy lothario Russell Brand has admitted that he's not quite up to speed on the latest craze imported from America's left coast - vajazzling.

Vajazzling - whereby a lady has her rose garden pruned, then adorned with precious stones for the delectation of discerning males is apparently all the rage in California.

But it seems it's all news to Russell, the UK's premier fanny rat, by his own admission.

"I haven't heard much abaht this innit," he admitted. "My Katy certainly ain't had it done yet, but I'm all in favour of gentrification of lady gardens. And all the better if they're all sparkly and that. Mind you, I wouldn't much fancy having a rhinestone jammed up me urethra. But I will look into it."

Brand's latest book "Women Wot I Ave Not Bin Wiv But Wish I Had" will be available from branches of Aldi from Monday next.

He added:

"Jewellery on yer bits - sounds kind of cool. Nothing better than a Beryl on yer bell-end."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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