Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for David Hasselhoff Is The First Victim Of This Year's "Dancing With The Stars"
David Hasselhoff's favorite brand of beer. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

HOLLYWOOD - The Dancing With The Stars 'Results Show' went all out musically as they featured the legendary music icon Carlos Santana and the futuristic legendary music icon Chris Daughtry as musical guests.

Even host Tom Bergeron who is usually not too impressed with the performing artists was in awe of both performers. After Santana finished performing his updated hit "Oye Como Va 40 Years Later" Bergeron ran on stage like a crazed groupie and asked for his autograph.

Santana gladly obliged signing Tom's tie. He then autographed Len Goodman's container carton of Ben Gay, Carrie Ann Inaba's 34-B bra, and Bruno Tonioli's fuchsia boxer shorts.

And then the twelve celebrity performers were reduced down to four, NFL quarterback Kurt Warner, the Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Torrentino, Kyle Massey of the Disney Channel's Cory In The House, and David "The Brewmaster" Hasselhoff, star of Knight Rider, Baywatch, Knight Rider 2000, Baywatch Nights 2005, Knight Rider Gets A Tune Up, Baywatch - The Damn Typhoon Years, Knight Rider 2006 - The Junkyard Days, and America's Got Talent.

And when it came time for the final elimination the first celeb to leave was David Hasselhoff. He was asked if he had enjoyed his stay. He smiled and replied, "Oh hell yes. I mean I got to rub up against Australia's most sexy dancer Kym Johnson."

He added that he got to meet his sports hero's Los Angeles Lakers Rick Fox and Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, and America's favorite mom Florence Henderson.

SIDENOTE: Bristol Palin was asked why her mother Sarah Palin did not attend the show. Bristol said that her mother was so afraid that the British judge Len "El Groucho" Goodman was going to mention the fact that Bristol had a baby out of wedlock.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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