Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 21 September 2010

image for An Arrest Warrant Has Been Issued For Lindsay Lohan - Looks Like It's Back To Jail (Maybe?)
Well it looks like maybe little LiLo Lohan may be spending some more time at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women in L.A.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - It appears that a pair of Hollywood celebs are keeping the California law enforcement departments, the court magistrates, and the prison system pretty darn busy.

The two celebs aka blonde airheads Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan seem to be competing with each other to see who can get the most publicity for breaking the law.

And in the words of GOPrincess Ann Coulter, "I am frigginly and effeningly amazed beyond my extreme intellect, natural genius, and semi-beauty at how these two white ass bitches seem to think that they are both above the law."

Coulter went on to say that she is not a racist but if it had been a black girl, or an Hispanic girl, or an Asian girl, or even a girl from Phoenix, Arizona they would have thrown her butt in jail so damn effen fast her vaginal bling bling would still be ringing.

Ms. Coulter, who has never been in jail stated that the two prima donna divas need to be thrown in the slammer with some of the meanest, nastiest, vulgarest, most poorest women in non-Tea Bag Land and then they will quickly change their law-breaking ways quicker than they can say "Tickle my G-Spot."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ann...what the hell have you been smoking, eating, snorting, or anally ingesting you weird stallion-looking bitch? Because for the first time I actually agree with you, you skanky looking palomino.]

Lindsay Lohan, aka LiLo, aka Dumbass, aka Shit For Brains has until Friday at 8:30 in the morning to turn herself in to California law enforcement authorities or risk being deported to Zimbabwe, where she would probably be cooked, served on a large elephant ear platter, and eaten within an hour of setting foot on Zimbabwean land.

A close inside source has said that she (LiLo) is going to use the same excuse as Paris Hilton used and that is that after years and years of getting their hair colored blonde the chemicals have literally fried that portion of their brain that knows right from wrong, right from left, good from bad, and shit from shinola.

SIDENOTE: Oprah Winfrey was asked what she thought about the two little rich girls and how they make a mockery out of the laws of the land. Miss O replied, "Honey-child, dem tu skinny little white cracker bitches are both about as dumb as pouring peanut butter on a T-Bone steak uh huh, I just be sayin' and all."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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